The Irresistible Reason We Resist What's Good For Us
Resistance.
Why do we as humans resist doing things we know will be good for us. Maybe you can relate? Do you ever beat yourself up thinking if walking, or journaling, or stretching or practicing French or sitting in stillness makes me feel good, why can't I keep it going for more than a few days at a time? Why do we resist? Because it’s part of our brain’s operating system! Just knowing that is a huge step forward, because when you understand how your brain works, you can stop layering on meaning about yourself (I just have an addictive personality; I never finish things; I’m not disciplined, I’m lazy etc).
Firstly, there is something called the Assumption Gap. As humans, when we were little, we saw that each year we got bigger and stronger and "better." It gives us a false sense that we would always continue improving. And all around us everyone is doing the same - just chugging along and reacting to what comes our way rather than proactively engaging with our lives with intentionality. So we don't think that we should have to "do" stuff for our bodies and brains to continue to enhance our lives.
Then, consider the two parts of the brain that have competing agendas. Our primal brain always wants to do 3 things: avoid pain, seek pleasure and conserve energy. And it's our Thinking Brain/Pre-Frontal Cortex that is able to delay gratification, create more energy by spending energy (exercise), lean into discomfort and be curious and open to new beliefs. So things like exercise, change, meditation, and intentionality are pre-frontal cortex things. So, what is the answer? Once again, it comes back to awareness.
The greatest meditation teachers in the world admit that each and every day, they face resistance from their brain about getting to that mat to sit. Every single day! Or consider this question: Do you know the heaviest weight at the gym? The front door handle! It helps a lot to know that this is a human brain thing, not a you thing, not a me thing. If I know that a normal, healthy human brain is wired to feel this resistance, I’m in a better place to not make it mean something about me personally and to punch through the lower brain’s resistance.
So it turns out that there is a bug in the system…our brains, especially when we are stressed and tired, misinterpret what will deliver a reward. Your lower brain is saying it’s too cold/hot/rainy to go on a walk right now, but some chips/Netflix/scrolling would be a nice dopamine hit! Notice how when you are successful in punching through the resistance and you do the thing (you took the walk for instance) you feel really good? Celebrate it, talk about it, journal about it, and then make it easy and attractive to do that thing again. Even better if you can make the thing feel playful and not heavy, not a chore.
Recognizing resistance as a normal part of what a brain does, and celebrating when we work around it will help your brain, little by little, reorder its Reward Prediction scale for the chosen activity.
Have fun! And know that, no, it’s not just you!! :)