A Great Article (That Still Misses The Best Reasons To Be AF)

Jun 30

When something like this article, “Is That Drink Worth It To You” drops, I stop whatever I was doing and dig in to think about what I can add to allow us to process it together. And it’s great news that it’s with much more frequency these days that another mega, well-researched article or podcast on the topic of alcohol use lands.

One of the reasons that five years into a life AF I’m still FASCINATED and could talk forever about this stuff is that the topic of alcohol and its use in our culture is LOADED. (lol).

And this article is no exception.

So let’s dig in a bit to digest what’s going on here. The comments beneath my post are turned on, so please let me hear from you!

I’m thrilled to see it! This is an excellent, well-researched article and contributes a lot to the conversation. I’m not in quibbling with anything the author has written….I’m more just wanting to use it as an opportunity to talk about the types of arguments our own minds or other people might mount.

This article, by the way, is not coming from a health agency. It’s a personal essay….one person’s attempt to wade into the rapidly shifting opinions, consumption patterns and latest science to increase her knowledge as she sorts through her shifting view about her own alcohol use. She’s giving voice to the private and conflicting conversation in her own head - that many people can relate to.

(Although in the comments section, some readers respond as if this is written by a governmental agency rewriting guidelines attempting to enact law!)

One thing that jumped out for me is that she identifies as “a halfhearted drinker at best.” If I were still drinking and questioning my drinking, I think I would have seized on that and worried that my own drinking didn’t seem half-hearted. I mean….if I was honest, I planned activities and get-togethers around having wine at the end of the day. So if this self-identified half-hearted drinker is concerned with her drinking….what does that say about mine?! Is she telling me that I drink too much? Or maybe I would have searched the comments for validation from “my tribe” of people who counteract by saying that life is short and we should stop being ninnies and drink up!

BUT why would I care how this author’s drinking would compare to my own?

The ONLY person who matters on this subject is me! What does MY drinking feel like to ME?

The author first looks from the angle of risk from alcohol-related disease and mortality. The risk can sound big when you look just at the headlines, like More Than One Alcoholic Drink A Day Raises Heart Disease For Women.

So she wonders how that translates in terms of days, weeks or months of life.

Science is clear that the risk is there, and she cites the hard evidence of observable brain shrinkage at even low levels of consumption. She focuses more on the impact on mortality. Is the risk small? But I would add that more women die each year in the US of alcohol-related disease than of breast cancer or drug overdose.

Next….

I love that she moves on to consider that while alcohol consumption might be an individual decision, it very/most often impacts others. And it’s in considering the collective harm that she seems to find the most reason to reconsider her drinking. She cites a statistic that a tripling of the federal alcohol tax (which hasn’t been increased since 1991) would reduce homicides by 6%, without a single additional person being locked up.

Very few articles about alcohol wade into the societal harms or the impact of public policy. For instance, in countries that restrict alcohol advertising or limit hours that alcohol can be purchased, like France where I’m writing this…rates of alcohol-related harm are significantly reduced.

So, finally, in my opinion, here’s what’s missing from this and every article about alcohol….

It’s what would be on a warning label, if alcohol weren’t grandfathered in and had to have a warning label.

That would include the obvious things, “may induce drowsiness but then may prevent deep, restorative, toxin-clearing REM sleep; maybe cause you to wake up at 3 am with churning worries and self-critique; may cause foot to be inserted into mouth; may cause insisting you’re right, getting selfish or mean; may cause you to shout, repeat yourself, bob and weave, or become a bore, to wake with a dull headache, to get recurring stomach ulcers, to get disgusted with the color of your teeth, etc, etc.

Jane Fonda said that even one martini was enough to make her feel half-mast the next day.

But I’m even more interested beyond the physical.

I’ve yet to see an article that focuses mainly on alcohol’s impact on motivation, mood, confidence, stronger boundaries, contentedness, cognitive function, strength of human connection, emotional resiliency, reaching goals, vibrancy, energy, and just feeling better in one’s skin!

I’ve heard clients say that looking back on their drinking days, they feel that they raised their kids or got their masters degree, or built their company with one hand tied behind their back. (or in a total fog).

Even after just a few weeks or months without alcohol, my clients notice their confidence and self-worth increase. They are feeling stronger, more authentic connections with their grown children. They are sensing more enthusiasm and hope for their next chapter in life!

I’m happily AF……NOT because a newspaper article or a statistic scared me straight.

I’m AF because I feel prouder, prettier, calmer, clearer, happier, healthier, and more joyful this way. I’ll let you know as soon as I see an article that captures all that!!

PS - I told you that it’s a loaded topic, so the NY Times article generated lots of comments!

One person in the comments quotes Woody Allen saying that the best way to live to 100 is to give up all the things that would make you want to live to 100.

ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

I think we have to admit that it’s a GREAT line!

It’s also a great line of thinking when we feel defensive about something. If we didn’t feel conflicted we wouldn’t make a joke. There are jokes about smoking and drinking and sliding into your grave sideways with your body smashed and used up. There aren’t jokes about surfing, dancing, going on safari, watching sunsets, cuddling and playing music!

Again, the harshest commenters will make an argument that sounds like, “lighten up and enjoy life — that critic is a drinker and is saying exactly what I would have said when I was still drinking — completely missing the point that that’s precisely what my clients are doing. They are taking back the reins and ENJOYING their lives and no longer feel chained to a bossy habit or addiction.

Spending half the year in Paris, swimming in the Aegean, going on live TV, a women’s only retreat in Southern Spain, a Wim Hof experience, learning choreo from a Moulin Rouge dancer, traipsing through speakeasies of Paris, walking along the beach in Lisbon at midnight, riding in a motorcycle sidecar, trying my hand at archery and milking a cow, meeting people from all over the world, organizing girls nights in a foreign country and having lots of friends in their twenties and thirties, trying holotropic breathing, finding more and more to love about visiting Oregon Wine Country, and finding work that brings me a deep sense of purpose….these are things I’m doing since getting OFF the alcohol train!

How about you? Did you like the NY Times article? Or this blog post? If you wrote an article, what would you focus on?

Martha Wright